Sample of an Evaluation of an Assessment

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Introduction

Based on EntreBahn's C.A.R.E. criteria, this sample evaluation has given the expert a low score. Note that the objective reasons for the low ratings are presented. One result of this evaluation is the expert's score will be lowered, affecting their ability to be selected for future assessments.

This is one of the ways that EntreBahn ensures the quality of assessments by its experts is maintained and improved.
 
 Snapshot of Assessment under evaluation
Elevator Pitch title: Sample Script for Elevator Pitch
Assessed by: anAdvisor
Submitted by: aClient
Snapshot of Document Submission under Assessment
Title:  Sample 30-second Pitch Test 1
Category:  30-second Pitch
Version:  1
Status:  Assessment completed
By:  aClient

There is no context needed for this sample pitch.

30-second Pitch
There is a big gap between idea and execution. Ramco helps you bridge that gap quickly and cheaply. Our staff is made up of seasoned salesmen that will let you get your message across because as salesmen, we know people. I can see that we have piqued your interest. Would you like to set up an appointment later this week so that we can help you formulate your accelerated road to success?

Overall Assessment notes

The Pitch can be improved to have a greater impact on the reader. It's not clear what you do and how you can help me.

Criteria ratings

Criteria Rating Weight Comments
Clear and understandable 20% x3

Not sure what you do and how it will benefit me. Grammatical errors reduce impact.
Unique and stands out 20% x2  
Pain and opportunity identified 20% x3

Not sure what I have to do and what benefit will I see.
Hard facts and real figures to back up pitch 20% x2

None
Market size and who will pay 20% x1  
Market timing 20% x2  
ROI and funding desired 20% x1  
Works tag line in naturally 30% x1  
Appropriate length 50% x1  

Overall Assessment Score: 23%

 

Overall evaluation notes

You indicated that you did not understand what I was selling and repeated that three times. A strategy for dealing with submissions like mine is to assume you know that I am selling a service or product. Tell the client that this is an assumption you needed to make, although the target audience for the submission may not make the same assumption. Then comment on the success or failure of using this pitch to promote my service or product.

Also, note that you can comment on this evaluation to address any of the issues that I have raised.

Criteria ratings

Criteria Rating Weight Comments
Clearly written and understandable 30% x 2

You indicated that you did not understand what I was selling and repeated that three times. A strategy for dealing with submissions like mine is to assume you know what I am selling a service and then comment on the success or failure of using this pitch to promote my service or product. It is hard to say that a series of sentences that repeat themselves, or that have one word in them lacks clarity, but it does.
Applicable information to this type of material in general 20% x 1

There was almost no useful information in this Assessment. There was no advice on how to clarify the service/product being sold, where the grammar errors were, or how the tag line fit into the submission.
Relevant to specific submission 10% x 2

This was an Assessment without specifics. What was it that you did not understand? Was it the service, the market, or the parties involved? Also, what tagline are you referring to -- I did not know the submission included any part of my tag line?
Executable - is advice actionable and gives some idea of what to do next and possibly how to do it 10% x 4

There is nothing actionable in the assessment. There were no how-tos, specific recommendations, or directions on where to go to fix the issues you felt needed addressing.

Overall evaluation score: 16%

 

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