Example of an Opinion of Script for Elevator Pitch

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Introduction

This sample shows a professional opinion of a script used to deliver a sales pitch. It is clear, useful, and applicable. It also concentrates on giving feedback to the client on what has been written. This differs from reviews which provide much more detail and in-depth analysis allowing mentors to offer meaningful advice about what to do next and often how to do it.

Also notice that the advisor considers the pitch a poor one. This is not a "bad" opinion, it is a good opinion because, while it is critical of the script, it does offer feedback on developing a better pitch in future.

It might be instructive to compare this opinion to the professional review of the same pitch.

 

Opinion

30-second Pitch title: Sample Ramco Pitch 1
Opinion given by: anAdvisor
Submitted by: aClient

Snapshot of Document Submission getting opinion
Title:  Sample Ramco Pitch 1
Category:  30-second Pitch
Version:  1
Status:  Opinion completed
By:  aClient

The is a big gap between idea and execution. Ramco helps you bridge that gap quickly and cheaply. Our staff is made up of seasoned salesmen that will let you get your message across because as salesmen, we know people. I can see that we have piqued your interest. Would you like to set up an appointment later this week so that we can help you formulate your accelerated road to success?

Overall comment

This pitch is not very good. The company should be sold on the benefits of using Ramco. Cliches like "quickly" and "cheaply" don't cut it. How the gap is bridged is not clearly explained. Are you offering a sales representative service? If so, it has been done before.You need to explain what makes Ramco unique.

The word "salesmen" is sexist. Also, sometimes people don't want to hear that a sales person will visit.

Don't put "because as salesmen, we know people" since every sales manager could say the same that about their sales staff.

Also, If the pitch is read or written, the first word is misspelt.


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